SHALL WE PLAY DUCKS AND DRAKES?

 

Once again, Pelin found herself feeling sad, angry, and grumbling… While she was throwing the pebbles in her hand one by one by the lake, she said "Why am I being bad? Why am I guilty? Actually, they want ridiculous things, and when their wishes are not met, they blame me without question. Oh my God, oh... I don’t know what to do anymore…”

Just as she was about to throw the last pebble in her hand; “Don't throw that stone, don’t! Look... The waves of all the stones you throw are growing, touching each other, mixing with each other. Just wait, calm down, let the water settle…” Here she started  talking to herself again.

Her life is like the waves.  The troubles that all touch each other…Not only today's actions, but also yesterday's actions, a week or even a year ago, were triggering each other. They were all touching and triggering each other...

“This is a cause and effect relationship”, she said…
“They asked, I did it. They asked for it, I said without any objection, "What will happen? Just do it." And the result is obvious…”

My friend asked me to do it, of course I can... Even raw chicken is eaten for the sake of a friend.

Of course, I would do anything for my husband, he is my everything...
I am a mother... Of course, my child’s every wish is an order and a duty for me…

How normal isn't it? I never thought when I said or did these things. Now that I think about it, I understand that; with so many unreasonable interrogations, requests would eventually reach a limit. Because, like everything else in life, our desires did not stay the same, they were becoming more and more extreme and were pushing us.

And… In the end, we hit the wall at the end of the road clunk! At that moment, the penny dopped and I say, "This is not desirable, but... I can't do this either, but... Okay... I love it, but it's not that much..." When I say this, all hell breaks loose and I'm becoming the most no-good person in the world.

How could you not?

What was it sir! If I am a friend, I should take out that loan and save him from the debt trap...
What was it sir! If I am a mother, can't I tell a little white lie for him at school?

What was it sir! If a wife or a husband wants something,  the other one would do everything.

Pffffff… It's always my fault… I made these concessions… I'm the reason for the endless requests… Each request was one click more compromising than the previous one, and when I finally said "No, I can't do this", I became the worst person in the world and they laid a trip on me.

However, if I had been clear at the beginning of the game, if I had determined my rights and wrongs and could said, "Yes, I love you, but this request is wrong and I cannot do it," maybe I would not have put such expectations on anyone. I wouldn't take it to the level of 'This is Pelin. She does it, what did I want but she didn't do it'.

I would have been the queen who thought for forty hours, not like the pawn in a chess game who is thrown forward without thinking. "Will he do it? No, he will say no. I wish I was someone who could make me think, "Look, brother, this is not right, give it up.

That would be nice, wouldn't it?

Then I wouldn't come to the edge of the lake and take my anger out on the stones in my hand by saying “Why did this happen? Why did I become bad? Why does it hurt me? However, I made desperate efforts for them.”

Clarity spoils the game...
Let it be clear which game you will enter, with what rules and with what move. Determine it, take your position and make your move...

Pelin calmed down, the water calmed down, the waves settled down. 

While she was going to throw his last pebble in to the water; she stopped, bowed, took her parallel position to the water, weighed her hand and threw the stone horizontally. One... Two... Three… Four…

The stone bounced four times and then began to form its wave. The waves it created while bouncing occurred one after another, as if there was a cause and effect relationship. But in the end, he started with one stone and ended up with one stone that created them all.

Be like this... The hand that throws that stone is yours... That stone is in your hand...

Do not throw away all the stones and multiply your waves in every corner of your life... Take a stone, bounce it a few times and create a wave. Don't waver in vain among the waves...
You can't make fun of life anyway…

As Pelin took one last look at the water, she saw only one wave spreading...
Was it that easy to be clear?

Yes... It was that easy... It was not important to throw many stones into the water, it was important where, why and how you threw a stone...

This time, Pelin was leaving the lakeside not by complaining but by finding a solution…Clearly…

Experiential Design Teaching says;
There is an answer to every question in life. If your questions are clear, your answers will be clear too. If the problem is clear, the solution is also clear. Which problem will you take as a problem?

Which stone will you throw into life and create its wave? You have the question, you have the answer...