DOES LOVE HURT?

As she slowly made her way from the bed, she had barely lifted herself from to the restroom, her eyes fell on the full-length mirror above the wardrobe. Even she could not recognize the girl in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen from crying for days, her hair was disheveled and she was weak from hunger.

What kind of pain was this? The last time she had felt it so deeply was when her grandfather died. This time no one had died, but her boyfriend, whose absence she said she could never bear, he had left Eda. She couldn't taste anything and felt like the world had come to an end. It was as if life had no meaning.

She hadn't come out of her room for days, and she sent back the food her mother brought to the room almost untouched. She didn't want to talk to anyone. The only thing that could bring Eda back to herself was Melih coming back to her.

As she was going back to bed, there was a knock on the door of her room. She answered in a mumbled voice.

- "Come in."

It was Eda's best friend Buse. When Buse entered the room, she looked at her friend for a long time. She hugged her tightly without saying anything. Tears started to flow from Eda's green eyes again. Buse sat her on the couch and said "it is going to be okay".

-It hurts so much, Buse. Melih gave me feelings I've never experienced before. My breath gets short when I think that he won't be there anymore. We were so much in love with each other. His words "I'm in love with you" are still ringing in my ears. I really can't understand what happened to end that great love all of a sudden. Especially the ugly words he said, the insults he hurled at me... Do you know that he hung up on me saying "Fuck you, go to hell!"?

-Oh my dear friend. Love is not a good feeling. People in affection don't have compassion, there is compassion in love. People prefer affection to love because it is more intense and instantaneous. But you are very much mistaken. Affection is not related to the other person. But love is for the other person and is never exaggerated.

-What do you mean? Isn't affection just being madly in love?

-No, it isn't. In love you do something for him, because you love him. In affection, you do everything because you want to. You want him to die when you demands are never fulfilled. You want him to miss, suffer and crawl when you are gone. Just like what Melih is doing right now... In love, you will feel pity for your loved one. So, the emotions and reactions in affection are very exaggerated, but in love they are very simple.

-I guess you're right. I remember at the beginning of our relationship he was raving about me. He didn't know how to express his affection. He kept sending flowers and writing poems. Then he started not even answering my calls. He was making excuses not to meet with me. What you said brought me to my senses, Buse. I know what I want now. I don't want exaggerated words, I want compassion. I don't want to fall in love, I want to be loved.