23 EXACT YEARS...

 

Morning had arrived, with a fresh, crisp air outside. "Today marks the first day of your new life," Berna said to herself. Even the sun seemed to rise differently. "I'll make an effort for things to be better from now on," she declared.

 

It had been exactly 23 years since Berna married Faruk. For 23 years, she endured his torment and humiliations, disregarding his belittling and disdain. How had she managed to endure it all, she couldn't comprehend.

 

Of course, there had been good days, beautiful moments. Everything had started so beautifully. Faruk had been very attentive and caring towards Berna. Most importantly, he had been generous. His generosity had deeply impressed her. He seemed to give to anyone who asked, extending much charity and assistance. There were indeed many positive aspects to him. Or had she just thought so?

 

In truth, even during their engagement, she had sensed his wrongdoings. Sometimes she witnessed it. Faruk treated his employees or chauffeur very poorly. There were also moments when he yelled at his mother or sister. Berna had attributed this to stress, the pressure of work. What surprised her the most was that none of Faruk's employees ever left him. They would say, "I'll leave, I'm fed up," but still, none of them ever left their jobs. He had long-standing employees with him.

 

Now, looking back, she realized that some things had been evident. How he treated his chauffeur back then, he had belittled Berna the same way in their marriage. Everything seemed to leave clues and signs. But she hadn't seen it. Maybe she didn't want to see it. But why? Because she had liked him so much. She had thought he was the perfect man she had been searching for. Yet over the years, she realized he was far from perfect.

 

Over time, Faruk's business had become busier. Naturally, his attention towards Berna had decreased. In their fifth year of marriage, their daughter Semanur was born. They had been so happy. Faruk had been doting on her, worrying endlessly about anything happening to her. However, as their child grew, it seemed like the gap between them widened. They no longer dined out as before, nor spent time together. All conversations revolved around their daughter. What did Semanur do? How adorable she was. She was the most beautiful girl in the world. The smartest, the brightest, after all, she took after Faruk's family. His mother was very intelligent, anyway.

 

Berna's thoughts lingered on the past. Whatever happened, she had placed too much value on him. Each time she valued him more, her value in his eyes seemed to diminish somehow. She was aware that she had contributed to this situation through her own actions. Yet, Faruk seemed to enjoy it. He had felt so important, receiving all that attention, as if he deserved it. Throughout his life, his parents, his family, had always valued him greatly. Faruk had provided job opportunities for almost everyone in his family. He had fulfilled many people's needs, facilitated them in living the lives they desired.

 

"He was so important!" This phrase echoed in her mind. She had become entangled in this cycle herself. But after twenty-three years, something had dawned on her. She remembered the incident that had opened her eyes.

 

While on vacation with her daughter, she had come across a picture on social media. Faruk was embracing another woman. She felt like she had been struck by lightning. How could this be? She immediately called her husband. "What are you doing? How are you?" she asked. Her voice trembled, but she tried not to show it. "I'm fine, I'm out with friends for dinner," he said. He was blatantly lying! She searched for a clue in the picture. It was taken on the terrace of a hotel abroad. Her mind started asking questions. "Could there have been other lies he told me all these years?" she wondered. She recalled times when she had suspicions. But she had brushed them off. She had never imagined he would cheat on her. How could he just continue his life as if nothing had happened?

 

When she returned, she decided to talk. But there was a habit that years had brought. There was the house, her friends, neighbors, the meetings she attended. There were people they met as a family, a standard of living she was used to. When she thought about losing all of that through divorce, she hesitated.

 

When her daughter turned 18, she knew she had to make a decision. Giving what is deserved to the deserving. That's what justice is, she thought. After all these years, she realized how much she had neglected herself while excessively valuing Faruk. She had poured all her love into him. In return, she had felt worthless throughout their marriage. She had seen her husband as the cause of this. But now she understood that the person she needed to solve the problem was herself.

 

Now, the veil that had clouded her vision seemed to lift. "What would life be like without him?" she wondered. If she didn't live in this house, if she didn't have this standard of living, what would happen? She looked around, looked at her belongings. "Maybe I could do without them," she said. She ran her hand over her polished table. It was such a beautiful table, solid wood, very high quality. She glanced at her garden, at her flowers. She loved them dearly. Tending to the garden was enjoyable, but was it worth it? Could she not give them up?

 

She could certainly give them up. "None of these matters." she said to herself. She examined a very nice vase her husband had brought from China. "I can do without these," she thought to herself. As something overflowed inside her, she threw the vase against the wall with all her might. Just like her heart, the vase shattered into pieces.

 

Life might have been like this until now. But from now on, it wouldn't continue like this. She took another sip of her tea... 23 exact years...

 

Her daughter was 18 years old how would she react to her decision? What would she tell her? How could she prevent her from making the same mistakes she had made? How would she explain what to look for in a partner? What was marriage, how should it be? While life was still ahead of her, she could transfer her experiences to her daughter. Would she listen? Would she understand what she had gone through?

 

Marriage was about two people becoming one. It was a process that started with two people becoming a family. That's how it started but it didn't continue that way. Now it was time to retract the prices paid. People couldn't let go of the things they paid too much for. She had paid the price for everything from her husband to her kitchen to the flowers in her garden. A marriage run solely by her, without loyalty, it was just cohabitation.

 

Come on, Seray, she said to herself; "Postponed things grow. You need to finish this as soon as possible."

 

23 exact years...